So much catching up to do

Ok, I hope that last entry wasn't too heavy. We have come such a long way these past 4 1/2 months. If it wasn't for our faith, our family and friends, I don't know how we would be getting through this. We finally found out on what happened as to why we lost Landon. It is called fetal-maternal hemorrhage. I had never heard about this. We met with a specialist that said that the vessels within the placenta did not form right. It has been such a journey because we didn't know anything for about 3-4 weeks. God has been so close to our family it has been just amazing. He has revealed Himself to us in so many ways. I would love to share about those at some point in this blog.

To try to catch up, here are some pictures of our Fourth of July.

We had a great time. Like all the holidays and birthdays that we have had so far, they have been pretty hard. When I was pregnant with the twins, I had so many dreams of what life would be like with twins. I had thought about how cute it would be to get matching outfits for the fourth of July. When I was dressing Avery in her outfit all I could do was cry because I thought I should be dressing both of them in their matching outfits. But, I know we have so much to be thankful for. God has been so good to us and He has shown His love to us in so many ways it has been incredible.

I'm finally blogging!

Well, here I am. Finally blogging! After my husband read a 7 page entry out of my journal the other day, he said, "honey...you should start a blog." I have thought about it for a while now and I am finally giving in! :)

So, let me start fresh. My name is Michelle. My wonderful husband, Ryan, and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversarry this August! We have 4 amazing children. Logan, our oldest, just turned 6 years old and he is about to start the 1st grade! Yikes! I can't believe it! He is very sweet and will probably be an engineer just like his daddy. Addison just turned 3 and she is our adventurous one. She has no fear and is extremely outgoing. Avery is 4 1/2 months old and can not get any cuter! She is starting to laugh and made cute noises and seems to smile all the time. Landon is Avery's twin brother and he is in heaven with our Lord. I wanted to start this blog as a tribute to Landon. He was with us for a short time, but his life has impacted our life forever. Landon will never be forgotten and we love him with all our heart.

It has taken me quite some time to get to this point. I want to be able to share all that has happened with us these past few months. So...I have some catching up to do.

I found out I was pregnant with twins last summer. My husband and I were so excited...a little nervous, but overall very excited. We found out that we were expecting a boy and a girl! It couldn't get any better.....two boys and two girls! Out family would be complete. For the most part, my pregnancy was completely flawless. I have always been blessed to one, get pregant fairly easy (my husband calls me "fertile Myrtle") and two, have very normal pregnancies to full term. So, the pregnancy with the twins was going on completely normal and with no complications. My husband and I went to my 34th week check up (I was going to the doctor weekly now for a while) and everything checked out perfect. The doctor said for us to return next week. So, the following week was very uneventful. I had pretty much put myself on bed rest. I had no medical reason to be on bed rest other than I was getting so huge and I was so blessed to have my mother-in-law living with us at the time to wait on us hand and foot. The only place I was going at this time was to church. My husband and I help out with the youth group and we just love it. We went that Wednesday evening and as I was sitting there listening to the praise and worship music, I could feel the babies kicking all around like they were enjoying the music too. :) I remember thinking how excited I was to go my doctor's visit the next day to possibly set up an induction date or to schedule a c-section....whatever deemed medically necessary per my OB doc. I woke up the next morning and got myself ready for my doctor's appointment. As I was waiting in the waiting room, I remember feeling hiccups coming from my daughter's (Avery) side. At that point I wasn't feeling any movement coming from Landon. I started to gently nudge my belly to see if he would respond....nothing. I started to panic and then I realized that I was at the doctor's office and I was so thankful for that timing.....I knew I would be getting an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. I immediately started praying and my name was called to go back. I told my doctor that I wasn't feeling any movememt coming from Landon and I was extremely concerned and scared. He did an ultrasound and saw that Avery was okay.....thank God. He then went over to my right side to check on Landon and there was silence. I was not hearing a heart beat like I was so used to hearing at all of my other visitis. My doctor froze as he looked at the screen. He then gently took my hand and told me that we lost Landon. I thought I was going to pass out. I immediately lost it and my doctor held me in his arms and we cried together. My life had completely turned upside-down.