Sweet summer memories and blessings to come

Ok, so I haven't been the best blogger. This summer just flew by! I had good intentions to blog more, but we have just been so busy!! Going to try to recap all of the wonderful memories that we have had since my last post. (Hopefully this preggo brain won't forget anything!!) :)

On April 29th, our precious Addison turned 4 years old! Oh my goodness....I just can't believe she is already 4! We celebrated her birthday with a Strawberry Shortcake party at one of her favorite parks in Jenks. This park has an amazing playground, but you can also fish and feed the ducks, too...which is right up Addison's alley since she loves all animals! Here are a few pics of her day.

Our attempt to a family picture before we headed out to the park!

Addison's cake

Addison blowing out her birthday candles

Addison enjoying her birthday cake

Addison opening up her presents. Love this sweet pic of Addison and Ragon!

Addison made sure all of the ducks got plenty of food!

Happy Birthday sweet Addison! We love you so much and you are just turning into such a sweet little girl. We love your passion for life and your adventurous spirit. You are such a blessing to our family. Just please don't grow up too fast!

Well, our summer was a busy one, but full of so many good memories. We started off our summer with a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge. We have been to the one in Kansas City, but this time we made our way down to Grapevine Texas to check out theirs!

After this trip, Logan and Addison started their swim lessons. So nice to have them both take at the same time! They just loved it!

After this, Addison had her first dance recital!! I don't know who was more excited....her or her mommy! She took at the dance studio that I actually took from. She had so much fun learning ballet and tap. Here are a few pics of her big day.

I love this picture! Katch brought Addison flowers for her first dance recital!

Ok, so next comes Logan's 7th birthday! I can not believe that our little guy is already 7! This just blows my mind. Logan wanted a sports birthday party so we had all the cousins and Logan's buddies come over for a fun birthday filled with sports games and swimming in the back yard. Here are a few pics of his big day.

Woo-hoo! Star Wars legos!

The water balloons were a hit!

Logan's birthday cake

Happy 7th birthday Logan! You are such a blessing to our family. You have such a sweet spirit and it is so neat to see how you are already so protective of your little sisters! We love you so much!

And....little miss Avery has definitely enjoyed her summer! As I sit here and type this, Avery is 18 months old. Now that is hard to believe. She is doing so many new things and is constantly trying to keep up with Logan and Addison. Some of the sweetest things that she is doing right now are the times when she tries to sing the ABC's or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.....just melts my heart! Here are a few pics of her fun summer.

Love those blue eyes!

We spent many days in the pool!

And also many days at the splash park

Avery, you are such an angel. You fill our hearts with so much joy. You are just so sweet and so loving and affectionate. You give the best hugs and kisses and I love it that you love to be cuddled so much. We love you!

Something else that has really flown by is my pregnancy. I'm 33 weeks along and it just seems like yesterday that I found out that I was pregnant. I am going to the doctor every week now which is so nice. It is so reassuring to go in every week and to see and hear the heartbeat. Very early on in my pregnancy, my doctor gave me a doppler from his office to take home. What a blessing this has been. We get to hear the heartbeat at any time. This really helps me get from one doctor's appointment to the next. I have had a few bumps along the road with this pregnancy. I started having gallbladder pain in my second trimester. At this time, she was breech and I was carrying her very high and this was putting pressure on the gall bladder. She has now turned and has dropped somewhat and the pain has subsided. My doctor did order an ultrasound to the gall bladder and some blood work and everything checked out okay. Then, about 3 weeks ago, I went in and my doctor reported that my amniotic fluid levels were pretty high. He mentioned gestational diabetes as a possible cause and ordered the 3 hour fasting glucose test. Boy was that ever fun. :/ But, I passed! No diabetes.....thank God! I just saw him again today and he said that everything looks great including the amniotic fluid levels. God has been so good and I am continuing to try to place my trust in Him. Some days this comes fairly easy.....others it just doesn't. We are getting close to the 35th week in this pregnancy. This is when we lost Landon. I am scared. I am anxious. When I was pregnant with the twins I prayed constantly that everything would be okay. That the babies would be okay and that there would be no complications. That was not our outcome. I still don't know why. We may never know why. Some days I struggle so much with this and other days not so much. There is no rhyme or reason to grieving....that I have learned. You just need to let yourself feel all the emotions that you need to feel and along the way learning to trust the Lord with all your heart and cling to Him with all you have. I'm trying to understand that He knows the "why" and that should be good enough. He is omniscient, almighty, powerful and sovereign. He understands it all. He sees the big picture. He sees it from the beginning to the end. We are not omniscient. We don't see the big picture. We were not created that way. If we were, then why would we have to trust in God? We would know everything. And that would keep us from developing a relationship with Him. So, I may never know the "why" this side of heaven. Or, maybe I will years from now. Maybe I will have the chance to help someone else who has gone through something very similar. I pray this is the case.

We are so thankful for this pregnancy. I knew it would be very hard emotionally to get pregnant again. But, once again, you really just don't know what you are going to feel until you are right in the middle of it. I have missed Landon so much during most of this pregnancy. I have had so many dreams of him during this pregnancy. I see Avery and what she is doing and learning and I think to myself, "This is what Landon would be doing." I often visualize him playing right beside her and I imagine all the time about what they would be doing together. How they would play, interact, laugh, etc. Then, I think about him being in heaven with our Lord and Saviour and getting to see and experience amazing things. Then, my mind goes back to this pregnancy and the hope that I have in that. I am so thankful for the precious life that is growing inside of me. I pray that everything will be okay and that we will get to hold her. I know we don't know the outcome of this pregnancy, and that is so scary, but all I can do is trust Him. It's in His hands.